Tracey’s Ten Tips for Surviving the Coronavirus

Tracey’s Ten Tips for Surviving the Coronavirus

Number seven will blow your mind

Why listen to Tracey?
She does hold a public health nursing degree.

  1. You will get the virus. So treat other people like you would like to be treated when you have it. Be good human beings.
  2. Consider making dinner a “Chopped episode”. What is left on the Costco shelf? Mountain Dew and garbanzo beans? Make the best Mountain Dew glazed garbanzo beans the world has ever known.
  3. Testing is a big focus right now, but if you are sick, wait for it .. you are sick. Treat yourself appropriately. Our best treatments are the same things we already do when we get the flu. Don’t be dumb. The hospital nurse thinks you are an idiot if you don’t take an anti-pyretic just so you can see how high your fever gets and to rationalize your need for hospitalization.
  4. Stay home. You don’t have to stay inside. You can walk around your yard, you can do other things, just try to stay six feet away from other people, especially if you don’t know if they’re infected or what kind of weirdness your neighbors do. But sunlight kills the virus for free, without Lysol wipes.
  5. Substitutions for commonly rationed, hoarded goods:
    Lysol wipes: 10% bleach solution on a rag or in a spray bottle.
    Paper towels: Dish towels.
    Toilet Paper: Literally anything.
  6. Anti-pyretics can be rotated to obtain fever reduction. Unless contraindicated, you can rotate Motrin with Tylenol. Take a Pepcid if it upsets your stomach.
  7. Wash your hands. With soap. Use Purell if you have no water, but you do, you just bought eight cases of it at Costco. And everyone’s water is still on.
  8. Be nice to your elders. Being older increases your risk of severe illness or death … from anything, including the coronavirus.
  9. While being nice to your elders, don’t tongue kiss your relatives. Also, don’t lick poles on the subway or bathroom door handles. No need to move out of your homes or send your kids into the cellar. If your family gets sick, care for them. Use good hygiene and common sense. Even in the hospital, nurses wear thin paper outfits and masks and get to care for all kinds of infectious diseases, and most even live. So take appropriate precautions but nobody needs to be left in a back bedroom to die.
  10. Keep your sense of humor unless laughing makes you cough.

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